Avoiding the Fetal Position

So what do you do when you get a critique that stings? Cry for your mommy? Reach for a half-quart of Ben & Jerry's? Kick the dang dog?

Sometimes it's hard not to take critiques personally. Especially if you've knocked yourself out to begin with on a particular piece of writing or if the crit comes at an exceptionally bad time (bad time defined as something as huge as contracting Dengue Fever or as simple as you just burnt the toast and your house stinks to the high heavens). I understand that holy-cow-whatever-made-me-think-I-could-write feeling. But before you take that feeling and run with it to the bad place, here are some ideas to cope with a tough critique:

Shelve It

Though your instinct may be to ball the thing up and toss it into the circular file, don't. There's likely a lot of great advice in there that will improve your manuscript. Set it aside and come back to it later. Time really is the great elixer.

Find a Shoulder

Writers are an emotional lot. Yes, even those with stoic Scandinavian backgrounds. As a writer, it's important for you to find a network of 2 or 3 buddies who are there for you to give you a pat on the back and listen to your sniffles. Often a good venting will clear out the gunk in your head so that you can see the critique way more objectively.

Pray

Go to to God and give Him all your insecurities. Really, that's likely all it is, you know. When you get your eyeballs off yourself and turn your view upward instead, all that insecure nausea will disappear. Tough critique or not, either He's in charge of your writing or He isn't. Which is it?

Critiques that are hard to swallow are going to come your way. It's part of the writing game. So put on your knee pads and wrist guards and get out there and play.

Squawk Blocking

DAY 34

Word Count: 22,301

Sentence of the Day: As he suspected, Emily stood near the door, right where he'd left her, her gaze leveled at him like a well-aimed kidney punch--one that bruised even when he turned back to Moore.

CRITICISM

How do you feel when you read that word? Heart rate rev up a notch? Shoulder muscles tense? Get a visual of your mother, index finger aimed at your heart, a list of shortcomings spewing out her mouth?

There is no get-out-of-criticism free card in the game of writing. And believe me, once you've published something, everybody is a critic. So, how to deal with bad reviews and harsh off-the-cuff remarks that people sometimes make to your face?

Denial is an option, though not a very healthy one. Anger, withdrawal, curling into the fetal position, all viable alternatives but again...maybe not the most beneficial choices.

Personally, I like this quote from Seth Godin:

"If someone outside of your target group doesn't get the joke, don't worry. That's not why you made your art in the first place."

To effectively deal with the naysayers, you've got to be completely centered on what your message is and who your message is for.

Case in point, when I first laid eyes on the glaring red one star of an Amazon review for my debut novel, wow...talk about feeling like throwing up. I forced myself to read the thing, and lo and behold (sorry, been hanging out in the Christmas story), the horrid critique was all about my story being too 'Christian'. Well yippie-dippy-doo-dah! This reader, while not liking the theme, actually got the theme, so I did my job well.

The trick of taking criticism is to move beyond the initial face-slapping sting and unearth the truth nugget. There's always something to be learned--

Unless you're a teenager...in which case you know it all.