Of Rags and Riches

Next week is party time here at Writer Off the Leash for the release of Out of the Frying Pan, a zany cozy mystery I wrote with the talented Kelly Klepfer. 

But that doesn't mean this week can't be just as much fun.

Pull out your floozle horns and bang your dingbeaters as I draw back the red velvet curtains to reveal a release headed your way next summer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the OF RAGS AND RICHES ROMANCE COLLECTION . . .

Here's the back cover copy:

Love Flourishes during America’s Gilded Age

The Gilded Age of the late 1800s was a time of opulence, growth, and great change for all aspects of American life. Modern conveniences and improvements paved the way for western expansion and leisure activities. The rich became richer, and the poor worked hard to make a better life for themselves. Nine couples meet during these exhilarating times and work to build a future together through fighting for social reform, celebrating new opportunities for relaxation, taking advantage of economic growth and new inventions, and more.

And here's a blurb for my story:

A House of Secrets

St. Paul, MN 1890

Ladies Aide Chairman, Amanda Carston, resolves to clean up St. Paul’s ramshackle housing and determines to demolish the worst of the worst: a “haunted” house that’s secretly owned by her beau—a home that’s his only means of helping brothel girls escape from the hands of the city’s most infamous madam.

The collection releases next July. Yikes. I'd better get busy writing.

Sweet Read at a Sweet Price

Hot dang! It's a sale. Can you scare up ninety-nine cents by digging around in your couch cushions? Then you, my friend, could purchase yourself an ebook version of BRENTWOOD'S WARD. Swing on over to Amazon to snatch up your copy (or if you already have it, spread the love by spreading the word, kind of like a toenail fungus, only much less disgusting).

Here's a blurb:

Place an unpolished lawman named Nicholas Brentwood as guardian over a spoiled, pompous beauty named Emily Payne and what do you get? More trouble than Brentwood bargains for. She is determined to find a husband this season. He just wants the large fee her father will pay him to help his ailing sister. After a series of dire mishaps, both their desires are thwarted, but each discovers that no matter what, God is in charge.

What a Research Trip Looks Like

post by Michelle Griep

Playing the Patriot at Ninety Six, South Carolina

Writers make up lots of things all the time, but honestly, it helps if you can visit the area you're writing about. That's why I'm currently tromping around the backcountry of South Carolina. Today I hiked historic Ninety Six. That's a town, not a number. Yeah, goofy butt name, but sweet mercy! Such history! And here's where my trip all began . . .

Two years ago I pitched a story to an editor about an English woman coming to the colonies as an indentured servant. All my stories to this point had been set in England. It's what I know. But at the time, Americana stories were all the rage and what publishers were snapping up. So I figured I'd bring a Brit over here and still get my taste of England a wilder setting.

No Cherokees, just spiders and snakes.

It sold. Whoda thunk?

That's when I started cramming. I picked up books on the Carolina frontier during the 1770's and read like crazy. I started writing the story with the bits of information I'd picked up. But I figured I'd better pack up my northern derriere and hustle down south to really experience what my heroine would. I've only been here a day, but I've already learned 3 very important facts . . .

#1. There are apparently venomous snakes around here. I didn't happen to see any or you'd have heard the scream tear around the world.

#2. The dirt here is red. Like really. Not kidding. Shouldn't dirt be black?

Orange lichen . . . weird!

# 3. Walking through the woods you run into spider webs. These suckers are everywhere. I didn't see the spiders but the webs are like dental floss dipped in super glue and they stick to everything.

When I get home and get back to work on my story, I'll weave in the dirt and the spider webs. Not sure if I can toss in a snake. They creep me out too much.

So, writers, if you want to add real-life touches to your stories, I highly recommend you visit the areas you're writing about. It's not always possible, but venomous snakes and spiders aside, it's worth it if you can pony up the cash.

One Writer's Journey to Publication

Somebody emailed me yesterday asking about my writing journey, so guess what today's post is about. Yep. It's testimonial time, my writerly congregation. Get all comfy on your pew . . .

I started writing when I first discovered blank walls and Crayolas. My mom wasn't too happy about that. She wasn't too happy when I had imaginary conversations with Daniel Boone under the living room table, either, so she took me to the pediatrician to see what was wrong with me. He said I just have an overactive imagination. Yes! Score one for the fiction writer.

In junior high, while most hooligans were smoking cigarettes under the bleachers, I went to poetry camp and buried my nose in everything science fiction. Ray Bradbury was my best friend. Can anyone say geek?

In high school I finally found a friend . . . one who loved to write. So we wrote stories, back and forth, her writing one chapter to a cliffhanging ending, me writing the next.

Then I got married and had kids. End of writerly story. For years. Kids have a way of sucking the ever-loving life out of your bones. I lived in survival mode until they were older, and then I ran away from home. One night a week, that is. I ran to the library at first and started writing my very first manuscript. I didn't have a clue about writing but it was fun to let my imagination off the leash.

I sent out that manuscript because I didn't know any better. I learned that I needed to distinguish between showing and telling. I also learned that if I sat at Panera instead of the library, I could eat chocolate chunk cookies and drink coffee. Double score!

So that's where I wrote my second manuscript, keeping in mind the ol' showing vs. telling rule that I'd since learned, and that story was called Gallimore. It's still for sale on Amazon and at Black Lyon Publishing. It's a small, independent publisher, but was a great way to dip my toes into the world of publishing because they take unsolicited manuscripts.

I kept up those weekly one night stands for my second book, A Heart Deceived. By then I'd started a blog. Yes, this one. Lo and behold, out of the blue, an editor for David C. Cook read a few posts and liked my style, and oh, by the way, did I have anything to submit? Yeah. We're talking miracle material here, folks. They bought it.

It'd taken me a year and a half to write the dang thing, though. I figured if I were going to make any money at this gig, I needed to up my game. I did, by writing 4 mornings a week. Brentwood's Ward took me 10 months. By then I had an agent. She helped shop it around, but it was really a face-to-face appointment at the ACFW Conference that scored the sale on that one.

And that same editor is the one who offered to buy the book I'm writing now, which will release next fall.

That's the shortened version. I left out all the gory bits because hey, we live in a violent enough world as is, right? The takeaway value from today's post isn't that you need to start talking to dead actors under the table to begin your writing journey. The point is that if I can do it, heck, anyone can. It just takes a LOT of time and the gumption to keep writing when you don't feel like it.

How is Writing Non-Fiction Different From Fiction?

If I were to sit down across the table from you, cups of java in hand of course, and ask you how writing non-fiction is different from writing fiction, how would you answer? Think on it.

Ready? Answer in mind?

You are wrong, Bucko.

Today I'm here to blast out of the water the three most common misconceptions the average humanoid believes to be true about non-fiction vs. fiction.

Myth:
In fiction you get to make things up, but in non-fiction you can only list facts.

Busted:
Would you seriously want to read a novel wherein nothing is true? Fiction needs to have facts incorporated in order to be believable.
And conversely, in non-fiction you need to creatively express your facts so that a reader doesn't shrivel up and die from literary dehydration.

Myth:
Story is fine for fiction but forget about it for non-fiction.

Busted:
We all live in some kind of story. Maybe your life is a drama right now. Or perhaps you're living in a sit-com. Whatever, story grabs hold of readers because that's where writing connects with their heart. This is every bit as much true for non-fiction books as well fiction.

Myth:
Writing fiction is harder than non-fiction --or-- writing non-fiction is harder than fiction.

Busted:
They're both hard. Each requires attention to detail, word choices, writing tight, and content that scoots the reader to the edge of his seat.

Sure, there are some differences between the two. There is no arc or climax in a non-fiction book, no protagonists or antagonists. Fiction has a theme but it's not a useful how-to tool.

The point is don't be all puffed up thinking non-fiction writers are smarter than fiction authors, nor put fiction writers on a pedestal of supreme creativity because non-fiction writers surely only deal in dust-dry words. Writers are writers no matter the genre. Words are words. The great divide isn't so great after all.

What I Learned from Self Publishing

You know those TV shows that feature some daredevil lighting his underwear on fire as he hops on a motorcycle and jumps over five semi-trucks and a baby, all while some scrolling type at the bottom of the screen warns you not to attempt this at home? Yeah. I feel like there should be some kind of warning to those considering self publishing because it's really not as easy as it looks. Leastwise not if you want to put out a quality book.

So here is my attempt at enlightening those who think they'll just slap up some type on Createspace and rake in a million bucks.

**pretend the following is scrolling across the screen . . . I'm not technologically savvy enough to do that and there's no teenager around for me to collar**

1. Covers are a pain in the patootie. Who knew there'd be so many decision to make? Color. Style. Artwork. Wording. Layout. Font. Sizing. Transparency. Bleed. And that's just in the first consultation.

2. No matter how many times you go through a manuscript, you can always find something else to change.

3. A good editor is worth her weight in chai. I didn't actually have the money up front to pay for a manuscript edit so I bartered for a lifetime supply of chai. So far it's worked out pretty dang good. Of course, if she lives to be one hundred, I may be in trouble. Nah. I'll be dead first. Hahahaha! Jokes on her. . . wait a minute. Maybe not.

4. If you put your book up for pre-order on Amazon, they give you a deadline set in stone to upload your final copy. If you're late, oops! Your name is written on the Amazon naughty list and you don't get to put up any more pre-orders for over a year.

5. There's way more that goes into producing a book than simply good writing, though that is a must. There's book size, paper color, paper weight, ISBN nonsense, Library of Congress shtuff, a bajillion different kind of ebook conversions, yada, yada. Seriously, I had no idea.

It's been an adventure putting out Writer Off the Leash, but one that's been a good education. Would I do it again? Probably. Will I leave the realm of traditional publishing behind? Nope. Each venue has their pros and cons.

Why I Decided to Self Publish

Way back when dinosaurs roamed the face of the earth, cavemen carved out their novels in hieroglyphics on stone walls. No contracts involved. No queries or proposals or pub boards. Just bam! There's a story, thank you very much. Self publishing is kind of like that, but without the fear of velociraptors ripping open your flesh with sharp, pointy talons.

Not too long ago, putting out your own book was looked upon with a huge frowny face. You were considered a loser. Someone who's writing wasn't good enough for a "real" publisher. Self-published books were stigmatized as sub-par.

Wow. How times have changed. Oh, there's still some crappy writing out there in Indie Land, but lot's of respectable authors have ventured into the realm of self-publishing. MaryLu Tyndall. Brandilyn Collins. Even the famed Stephen King.

And now, moi. The big question is why? Why risk my own money up front when there's literally hundreds of thousands of other books out there clamoring for buyers?

Top 3 Reasons Why I Self Published

Peer Pressure
All the cool writerly kids are doing it nowadays, so I thought I'd give it a whirl as well. I've already got four traditionally published books under my belt (yeah, it's a little snug). Self-publishing would be a new adventure.

Sheer Laziness
I didn't want to spend the time figuring out what publishers to pitch a non-fiction writing craft book to. I also didn't want to spend the moolah to frequent the conferences where those publishers might be hanging out. Does that sound like I'm cheap and lazy? Yep. You'd be right.

Team Work
I had a buddy who'd been after me to self pub. Every time I saw him, he'd be like, "So, when are you going to put out your own book?" One day I shot back, "When you do it for me." The gauntlet lay in the dirt. He picked it up and ran with it. I did all the writing, found an editor and graphic designer. He did all the formatting and ISBN funny business.

Those are my reasons, but those aren't the only reasons to self pub. Here are a few more:

• Control ~ you have the final say on everything involving your book
• Time ~ it's on your own timeframe, not a year or two out
• Ownership ~ you retain all your rights
• Genre ~ you don't have to sell to a certain market, well, unless of course you want to make money
• Royalties ~ there's no middle man to pay

Independent publishing isn't for everyone. It's not a get quick rich scheme or the fast track to fame. If those are your goals, this isn't the gig for you. But, if you're willing to be in the writing game for the long haul, put your money where your mouth is and cough up the cash for editing and cover design, then you might want to give self-pubbing a good, hard look.

Or I might be wrong and this could all blow up in my face. Stay tuned. I'll be sure to take pictures if that happens.

Introducing the New Hybrid: Me

Today is the day I become a hybrid. No, that doesn't mean I'm going to get better gas mileage. Nor has my DNA mutated into a gnarly strand so if you spray me with Roundup, I tap dance  the praises of Monsanto in Morse Code. All it means is that I've belly-flopped into the pool of independent publishing with my latest release . . . drum roll please . . .

Cymbal Crash! Cue the applause! Do-si-do your partner and send in the clowns! No, wait a minute. Some people are afraid of clowns. What's all the ruckus?

WRITER OFF THE LEASH is now officially available. 

(click to tweet)

Here's a blurb:

Are you a writer at heart? How can you tell? And if you are, how do you go about composing and selling the next Great American Novel? WRITER OFF THE LEASH answers these questions and more--all in an easy to understand, tongue-in-cheek style. This is more than a how-to book. It's a kick in the pants for anyone who wants to write but is stymied by fear, doubt, or simply doesn't know how to take their writing to the next level. Award-winning author MICHELLE GRIEP blows the lid off stodgy old-school rulebooks and makes it clear that writing can--and should--be fun.

It was a little scary wandering out of the fiction neighborhood and crossing the street into non-fiction, mostly because I couldn't just make stuff up. I had to be factual, which usually isn't a whole lot of fun. But don't worry. I added in plenty of snark just to jazz it up a bit. It's been an interesting adventure, so for the next few days, I'll chat about it. Here are a few questions I'll cover, but if you've got more, feel free to leave them in the comment section.

• Why did I choose the self-publishing route?
• What did I learn from self-publishing?
• How is writing fiction different from penning non-fiction?

So feel free to spread the word, gang. Let's share the Writer Off the Leash love.

Fun Friday Apple Club

Someday is Today

Of all sad words of mouth or pen,

the saddest are these:

it might have been.

~ John Greenleaf Whittier

If I had a nickel for everyone who's said to me, "I'm going to write a book someday," . . . wait a minute,  QE597 just made those nickels completely worthless. Let's start over.

If I had a dollar for everyone who's--scratch that. Stupid dollars aren't worth anything either. I mean seriously, have you been to the Dollar Tree lately? 

Okay. Reset. If I had a Godiva dark chocolate truffle for everyone who's said to me, "I'm going to write a book someday," I'd be a bloated happy person with candy wrappers covering my naked body up to my neck.

Sorry for the visual.

My point is, don't just say you're going to write a book, or you're going to run a marathon, or you're going to herd llamas on the Serengeti Plain. Do it. Yeah, I know, you might have to break a sweat on your pristine little brow, but grab a hankie and do it. And if hankies gross you out, use a paper towel.

If there's a passion in your heart to accomplish something on this side of heaven, waiting for the right time, the perfect set of circumstances, or a good hair day isn't going to help you reach that goal. Why? Let's take these point by point . . .

There is no guarantee of a right time. 

If you put off your dreams for a time that's "right," it may never come.The only time you're guaranteed is right now. These breaths. The ones you're using at this moment. Life is a vapor, my friend. Don't wait. You want to write a book? Start penning a few words every day. Be able to run a marathon? Get your butt off the couch and jog twenty feet down the sidewalk. Whatever your goal is, start today with a baby step toward reaching it.

The perfect set of circumstances will not happen.

Newsflash: we live in a fallen world. There is no perfect. Even my grilled cheese sandwich was a little on the burnt-side of brown at lunch today. You'll never have enough money, fit into the skinny jeans hanging at the back of your closet, or enjoy a premium health care package all at the same time. Stop looking for the planets to align and work toward your dreams anyway.

Good Hair is overrated.

'Nuff said.

What passion is burning in your heart? Go for it. Don't make me put on my cheerleader mini-skirt and do back-flips all over this blog. My thighs are too chunky. Just doggone do it.

What? You're still here?

Readership

Shh. Listen. Hear that? It's the squalling cry of a newborn baby website that launched today. Readership is an innovative new opportunity for wannabe authors. It kind of reminds me of Wattpad but with the extra added bonus of potential money for the author. Here's their schtick:

"Readership is a digital book publisher controlled by readers. It was created out of a desire to see more publishers embedding themselves in online culture."

Okay, so I don't really know what that whole culture thing means, but the rest of the premise sounds interesting. I like the idea of readers getting a say in what gets printed. Here's how it works:

• Writers upload extracts of their work
• Readers vote yes or no if they think it should get published
• Readers add donations to every yes vote
• Every title that reaches its target gets published
• If a reader votes no, they supply feedback as to why . . . which is invaluable to an author

Readers get a chance to read the first line, the first chapter and the second chapter. Here's a sample page for you to try.

The launch is being kicked off with a campaign that invites any writer to upload their work and see what the online world thinks. Readership will enable votes later on in the year, so make sure your work is uploaded ahead of time for when they open their doors to readers.

I'll be keeping my eye on this one and just might give it a whirl for giggles and fun.

How Much Money Does an Author Make?

As an author, I'm asked a lot of questions . . .

• Where do you get your ideas?
• Can you help me get published?
• Do we have any marshmallows in the house? No, really. I was just asked this like five minutes ago.

But the question I'm asked most often is how much money do you make?

I know. I see you. You're leaning toward the screen, holding your breath, looking for a dollar sign and six figures following. Hate to burst your balloon, Bucko, but I maybe know two authors who rake in that kind of moolah.

Here are some facts from The Guardian:

• Half of the writers surveyed (both traditional and indie) earned $1,000-$2,999 or less.
• Barely 10% earned $100,000 or more.
• Only 4% of all writers earned $250,000 or more.

And from a Digital Book World survey:

• Independent authors make about $500-$999 a year.
• Published authors earn an average of $3,000-$4,999 a year.
• Hybrid authors (using traditional and independent routes) take in $7,500-$9,999 a year.

I'd say those figures are pretty dang close to accurate, varying in proportion to how many books an author has on the market. 

Being an author sounds like a glamorous gig, hanging out in your jammies all day, drinking java until you're all jazzed, but the truth is that most authors also have a day job.

Writerly Lessons From American Sniper

This weekend I ran outside the literary fence and roamed the Hollywood neighborhood. I sat down with a tub of buttered popcorn -- yeah, the free refill hog-o-maniac size --  and watched the outrageously successful film American Sniper. Here are a few randomosities . . .

Graphic Violence
If decapitated heads aren't your thing, you'll probably want to pass this one by. And that wasn't the worst of it. I won't even mention the electric drill. Oops. Just did.

Renewed Appreciation
When you see what American soldiers go through in a war zone, it increases gratitude for their service. The hell their families suffer makes viewers appreciate them more as well.

Propaganda
In real life, not every Iraqi is a savage. This movie leans a little heavy-handedly on showing only the "bad guys."

Irony
After Chris Kyle narrowly escaped death time and again overseas, I find it a bit ironic that it's an American who kills him.

Powerful
Clint Eastwood is the bomb at directing. The ending of this film is perfect. Everyone in the packed theater sat in complete silence when it was over.

And those are just a few thoughts. What can a writer learn from all this?

• Story is a powerful medium. Think carefully about what you want to impart to a reader because you will, indeed, affect them.
• A hero who risks his life for the safety of others is the kind that everyone loves.
• Don't sugar-coat the conflict, either emotional or physical. Conflict is what makes a character grow.
• Sometimes less is more. **Spoiler Alert** There is no music with the closing credits, just silence, which is way more powerful than any song that would've distracted from the solemnity of the moment.

Carpe Diem

First Draft Manifesto: Think Like a Pirate

I hit a crossroads today. Not like smashed the front fender off my van, mind you. Just barreled right up to a Y in the writerly road and stalled out, trying to decide which way to go. Should I follow the synopsis I've already written after much careful thought? Or do I throw it away and allow the story to zing off in a totally different direction? What's a writer to do when this happens?

Principle #4: 
Think like a pirate.

There are lots of things to admire about pirates, as long as you overlook their rank body odor and the fact that they slit throats and rob people. The piratey trait with the most takeaway value for a writer is that pirates aren't married to rules and regulations. Sure, they've got a code to follow, but in the words of Captain Barbossa . . .

"The code is more what you call guidelines, than actual rules."

When you set sail on the ocean of first draft, you have a destination in mind. There's a plan lurking about in your grey matter, a map for you to follow from beginning to end. If you're really a planner, you've even got a synopsis already written and know exactly how the story will flow from chapter to chapter.

But here's the deal . . . if you happen to come up with a better idea halfway through, it's okay to change directions. Sure, your story might not turn out how you expected it would, but that's okay. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to stay a certain course that you're not willing to explore a different direction story-wise. Some of the best creativity happens when least expected. Give yourself the elbow room to veer off course.

First Draft Manifesto: Endure to Infinity and Beyond

Coming up with story ideas is easy. Telling a whang-banger of a tale around a campfire is child's play. But sitting down day after day, slogging through the minutia of plot arc and character development is grunt work, requiring the same perseverance my dog employs when she watches me eat a plate of spaghetti. And so, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the third installment of the First Draft Manifesto . . .

Principle #3: Endure to Infinity and Beyond

The idea of writing a novel is oh-so-much more romantic than actually parking your heinie in a chair and pounding out words. After a day or two of actual writing, the ninety-nine percent will tuck tail and run, whimpering about writer's cramp or block or something about a clogged artery in the posterior region.

Getting the story out of your head and onto paper takes time. A lot of it. It's called determination, folks, deciding that you're going to write whether or not:

• you feel like it
• the words are flowing
• it's a nice day outside
• you got invited out to lunch
• the zombie apocalypse takes place

The only way to finish a first draft is to . . . umm . . . **excessive throat clearing** FINISH THE DANG THING! Yes, I'm yelling. There's no easy way out except through, and that takes endurance.

So keep plugging away, word after word. Eventually you will give birth to a pound-and-a-half baby manuscript, putting you in the ranks of those with a complete novel to their credit instead of a loser talking smack about writing one.

First Draft Manifesto: Step Off the Cliff

Writing is not for the squeamish of heart. The sissies. Those who cry like a little girl because of a slanted cross-eyed look. Before you even think about writing a first draft, you need to run over to Target and purchase yourself a pair of big kid undies
. . . which brings up the next point in our manifesto.

Principle #2: Step Off the Cliff

BE BRAVE
There's a certain amount of bravado involved in penning a first draft. How much? Gobs. No, really. I measured. It takes guts to expose the story in your head for all the world to see, but there's no need to hyperventilate. The beauty of a first draft is that no one but yourself need see it. So go ahead. Take a deep breath. Then expel every crazy word idea swirling around in your skull.

TAKE CHANCES
Since no one else needs to ever see this prototype of a story, why not go rogue? Allow your characters to take risks with their actions. Snark up the dialogue, letting it shoot off into conversations you never dreamed possible. Give your plot permission to take a sharp left turn or even mow down into the ditch for some off-roading.

FREEFALL
Your writing will never change or grow if you don't vary the way you write. If you usually write in third person, do a scene in first, just for the heck of it. You don't have to keep it that way, but in the exercise, you might find a new perspective in which to stage that scene. Flail around a bit with structure, like writing only dialogue for an entire chapter. Quit rolling your eyes. Of course you'll go back later and add in setting and descriptions.

First drafts are the safest place to experiment and stretch the boundaries of your usual writing norm. If you were waiting for permission, here it is. Go for it.

First Draft Manifesto: Divorce Your Art From Perfectionism

A lot goes into writing a first draft. Thought, time, energy, and lots and lots of coffee. There are some basic principles, though, and this week here at Writer Off the Leash, I'll try to capture them all like little Pokemons, then compose them into a First Draft Manifesto.

Principle #1: Divorce Your Art From Perfectionism

Sometimes writers make things way too complicated. I do. When I sit down to write a new story, it takes me an hour or two to figure out that hey, I don't have to compose Shakespearean prose in iambic pentameter. I simply need to get the dang story down on paper. So, here's a good reminder for all of us:

Just write what you're thinking.

I know. Sounds too easy, right? Like I'm making up a fake truth to fool you so that your writing will fail, and then I'll swoop in with mine and make millions (cue evil laughter).

Nope. Nothing like that at all. Here's the deal . . .

When you put too much effort into finding just the right words to put together, your creativity gets bunched up, bogging you down. Sometimes even stopping you. That's bad, folks. Newsflash: you don't have to have the most psychedelic words strung out across the page like a hippie on acid. You only need to have words. Period. They don't have to be perfect. Not yet. That's what editing is for.

So go ahead and write like you think, not like how you think you should sound (click to tweet). At this point, you're merely getting the story wrangled onto paper. You can always go back later and sprinkle jazzy word glitter all over your paragraphs.

January Giveaways

Two fantastic contests for you to enter . . .

THIS IS THE FACEBOOK LINK TO CLICK.

Contest Details . . .

Post A Photo
Just snap a shot of you with your copy of Brentwood's Ward and post it on your Facebook page or Twitter or wherever. Then share it with me and I'll toss your name in a drawing for a signed audiobook of Brentwood's Ward. Contest ends next Friday, January 23rd.

Jane Austen Inspired Giveaway
Enter to win your copy of Brentwood's Ward, Lizzie & Jane, A Lady at Willowgrove Hall, plus some Jane Austen inspired goodies including a tumbler, breakfast tea and a teacup, and a Pride and Prejudice DVD. Contest ends next Friday, January 23rd.

Fine Dining Now and Then

Whether you've spent the entire day writing or had your nose stuck in a fantabulous book and just couldn't come up for air, frozen pizza is a great go-to meal—but not if you lived in early nineteenth century England. Dinner wasn’t just a meal. It was an event, especially when combined with a ball.

The punch table would sustain you for awhile as you swirled through dance after dance, but eventually everyone’s tummy would start growling. It wasn’t uncommon for “dinner” to be served around midnight, when you’d enter a sparkling dining room, candlelight glinting off silver and crystal. But your contemporary appetite might be a little squelched when you find out what might be served . . .

Meat Pies

Who doesn’t like a good chicken potpie? That depends upon your definition of good. Meat pies served in the 1800’s didn’t just have a crust slapped on top. They had an entire bird head and wings sticking out.

Baby Eel Gelatin

What kind of cartoon bubble does that bring up in your mind? If it makes you go, “Eew!” then you’re right on track. Baby eels look like big worms, and you’d see their little eyes staring at you because I’m not talking cherry Jell-O—they’d be served in a clear gelatin. Add a little jiggle to that when the dish was spooned out and you might not be as hungry as you thought.

Golden Sweetmeats

No actual meat involved in this one, but as for the gold, 24 karat baby. Picture a delicious, chocolaty truffle, just the right size to pop into your mouth. Now add in a golden coating—of real gold. I don’t know about you, but personally, I like to wear my jewelry, not eat it.

Oysters on the Half Shell

Okay, so this one isn’t so strange, and is still considered somewhat of a delicacy even today. But it wasn’t for the hero in my new release, BRENTWOOD’S WARD. When Nicholas Brentwood, a street-wise lawman, is faced with a plate of raw oysters in a dining room, surrounded by those who are used to such fare, he’s forced to man-up and let them slide down his throat. It’s a dinner scene he—and the reader—is not likely to forget.

As for me, I’m pretty thankful that some of yesteryear’s dishes are no longer in vogue, because I’d much rather sit down to a meal that doesn’t include feathers, heads, or precious metals.