Question Jar Take #378

What questions will I answer today? It's the luck of the draw my friends. Watch and be amazed.

And as always, feel free to leave me new questions to toss into the jar for the next time I pull it out.

The Zit on the End of My Nose

www.freedigitalphoto.net

We've all been there...the big event on your calendar...the one you're uber excited about. The one you'll do anything for to look your absolute best.

So, you eat nothing but carrots for a week to fit into the dress you splurged on that's two sizes too small. You get your lip waxed, nose hairs trimmed, and matchy-matchy manicure/pedicure nails. For once, your hair is cut to perfection, and you've successfully elbowed out of way an elderly woman who was going to snatch the cutest shoes you've ever seen in your life to score a pair of black pumps for a mere $29.99. Yes, indeed. Everything is going as planned. All the planets are aligned. There is peace in the Middle East. You even read on Drudge that the lion has laid down with the lamb. Life is good.

And then it happens.

A half hour before the public shindig, an enormous red pimple erupts like Mount Vesuvius, front and center on your schnoz. You stare into the mirror. Horrified. Whimpering. Pretty sure this is the end of life as you know it because doggone if everyone's gaze is going to zero in on the mother of all blemishes, scarring your reputation forever and ever. Amen.

Cue the death march.

Yeah, so that's exactly what a crappy review feels like, especially when it's a review that has nothing to do with your writing expertise. It simply has to do with a reader who doesn't like your genre and honestly shouldn't have picked up the book in the first place.

Those kinds of reviews used to burrow under my skin like a guinea worm (I'll spare you a link...trust me, you don't want to see a picture of that nasty parasite), plaguing me for days, making me consider throwing out my computer and never--EVER--write again.

Not anymore. Now when I read a scathing review, I stand up and applaud. No, I haven't gone nutty-nuts (though some might debate that point). Stabby reviews are actually a Godsend if you look at them with the right attitude.

It's normal to curl into the fetal position and suck your thumb for a few minutes after reading one. Key word: FEW. After that, re-read it for what it is...a warning to other readers of the same ilk to not read your book. That's a good thing! As long as you've got the standard "Bad Review" out there, shining like a beacon to ward off other would-be naysayers of your story type, you'll probably get a lot less fewer slap-you-upside-the-head reviews in the long run.

You tracking with me here? Bad reviews are part of the writing game if you're a good writer. It means you've done something with your wordsmithing to tweak a nerve. For some that feels like pleasure and they'll write a 5 star. To others, it's pain. Either way, you've created a reaction, which is the goal: to make a reader think in a way they've never thought before.

Chances are the people that really love you aren't even going to notice that zit anyway.

Staying One Step Ahead of the Bog Monster

It's no secret that writing a book is a fat lot of work. Enjoyable labor, way better than 72 hours of pushing out a mammal from a space that's normally the size of a dime, but it is labor nonetheless. Every author has a bag of tricks to help get through the first draft of a manuscript. Here's a few of mine...

Take Notes, Einstein
There are so many little details that make up a book, there's no way you can remember them all. Shoot, I can't even remember what it was I was going to make for dinner, even if I left the hamburger on the counter in a drippy red mess to remind me. It's not cheating if you take notes. In fact, it's mandatory. You need to know which garbage can the killer chucked the smoking gun into. Who knows crazy Aunt Alice's combination lock sequence for her chest freezer loaded with pirate dubloons? Where did you leave the freaking bag of Doritos in scene 17?

Any method of note taking is fine. Type them in at the end of your document. Use Scrivener. Plaster the wall with sticky note pads. Whatever works.

Secret Codes
So you're writing along, la-la-la, and wham! Smack head first into an "I don't have a clue what happens next" moment. Should you kill off a character? Introduce a new one? Make the phone ring, the door knock, the dog bark? Some authors use a code to mark those areas, like IDK1, IDK2, and so on. I prefer to use the John Otte method (who's a super fun author you should read). He just plugs in 2 words in those spots and moves on: STUFF HAPPENS.

Try it. Next time you're zipping along and stall out in the story, just write STUFF HAPPENS and go on to the next scene that you know for sure.

Disclaimer: Use this only in case of emergencies or your entire manuscript will consist of those 2 words.

Word Bargains
Everyone's got their pet words. Warm, furry, lovable, and as prolific as Tribbles. Go ahead and let them mate in the first draft just to keep you moving, but keep track of them. If you notice you're using "smile" or "very" or "jingle-jangle" too much, jot them down on a piece of paper and keep going.

It's the second draft where you slash and burn these bargain words you've collected. No matter what you've heard, hoarding is NOT cool. Get rid of them or you'll end up on a reality TV show.

These 3 tricks will help you keep from getting bogged down as you speed along the writing highway to Finished Manuscriptville. Feel free to share some of your own tips in the comment section. There's always room in a writer's bag for one more rabbit.

A Microsecond of Fame

For one, single stunning moment, A HEART DECEIVED (yes, the FREE eBook that's still available for the whopping price of FREE -- and you can still get the deal here) skyrocketed to the #1 position in the Christian and Christian historical positions for free Kindle books on Amazon. Yeah. You read that right. Uno...but even better than #1 is #4.

4 is the number causing me to tap dance on the table.

I made it to the 4 slot on the main Kindle list, beating out the President Obama book. I knew his numbers were slipping, but really? Wowzer.

Okay, enough bragging. Pride goes before a fall and all that. It's been fun, but the spotlight doesn't last, plus it has a nasty way of highlighting the cellulite on my thighs. So, time to pick up the ol' pen and get back to work, which means...

Chapter 2 for A Heart Exposed is up at Wattpad here.

Score Your FREE Copy of A HEART DECEIVED

Here it is. This is the day! Two, actually. August 5 & 6 you can download the eBook version of A HEART DECEIVED for zero, zip, nada and I'm-not-kidding-you-NOTHING!

Kindle version HERE

Nook version HERE

And if you'd rather not support a Big Box, you can get it from Christian Book Distributors in all e-reader formats HERE

Go ahead and spread the word. Who doesn't like a freebie?!

No Such Thing as a Free Lunch...Really???

No, I'm not offering you a free meal. Something even better!

Looking For Something To Do?

What to do with all the unending dog days of August that are about to shake hot droplets of boredom all over you like a St. Bernard who's taken a dip in the lake? Never fear. I'll fill up that calendar for you. Follow me over to Jessica Dotta's Facebook page. She's got a month long launch whoopdedoo going on for her debut novel Born of Persuasion.

 

 Who knows...you just might win a copy of my book! But not today. 
Today's giveaway is:

Win This Tea Cup Painting!