Writing Disorders

DAY 48

Word Count: 30,548

Sentence of the Day: On each side of the narrow lane, buildings stooped like rheumy old men, hunched at the shoulders.

There are a couple of little known writing disorders that I'd like to shed some light on today. Sufferers of these chronic ailments need not be ashamed. Simply identifying which disease your writing suffers from is the first step to recovery.

In the overall economy of words, there are 2 extremes that should be avoided.

Literary Anorexia

We've all heard it. Write tight. Kill your darlings. Keep it lean and mean. All great advice, but if taken to the extreme, the ambiance of your story can be lost. Keeping your character's emotions too spare or descriptions too sparse leaves the bones of your tale languishing.

Prose Bulimia

Vomiting words onto a page will make your reader want to gag. In this day and age, readers don't have time to wander in your literary garden, admiring each and every flower, dragonfly and fern. Grand scenes with an overabundance of detail will make your reader slam shut your book and reach for the remote instead.

One bulimic disclaimer: for first drafts, it's okay to veer over on the wordy side of the road...as long as you know you'll have to cut the excess when you edit.

My point is balance is key. I know...I've said that before. But in ALL things, writing related or life related, it really is crucial to keep your balance.

Romance Shmromance

DAY 47

Word Count: 30,040

Sentence of the Day: God should so bless everyone with a visit to the dead house.

Sniff, sniff. Smell that? Yeah...love is in the air. Valentine's Day is just around the corner, so today I'm talkin' romance. Not the tender endearments whispered into the ear of your soul mate kind, unless, of couse, that's what inspires you to write your next scene. Actually, I'm thinking more like anti-romance because:

The idea of story is so much more romantic

than actually writing the dang thing down.

Who doesn't have a great idea for a bestseller lurking in the corners of their mind? Pretty much everyone has a tale to tell, one that's heart-wrenching, epic in scope, and sure to connect with readers in 'To Kill A Mockingbird' fashion.

So why doesn't everyone have a WIP?

Because writing is hard work. Yes, you can quote me on that.

Capturing the images in your brain and the accompanying emotions rarely turns out how you want it to. It's more than frustrating to try to bring a reader into the land of your mind. There just aren't enough words, and even if there were, putting them in the correct order takes a whole lot of brain power.

It is romantic to think of an author as sitting down to write each morning in a sunny nook, cutesie coffee cup steaming to one side of the computer, a golden retriever lying serenely on the hooked rug at her feet. Reality is, that author has dog hair on her sweater, her cup is cracked and coffee cold, and that sunny nook? Huh. It's a corner of the dining room table that isn't stacked with dishes or leftover mail.

So go ahead, indulge your fantasy of penning an Oprah Book Club winner, then sit your little fanny down. Start plugging away like the rest of us one word at a time, and though your dream might not be romantic anymore, at least it will be a reality.

Camp Yippee

DAY 46

Word Count: 29,654

Sentence of the Day: "We may be a dead house, but we ain't no fleetin' fly-by-night kind of joint."

FACT: Only 10% of writers make a living solely by writing books. That figure includes every title sold in every category, not just Christian.

What's your gut reaction to that? Horrified or relieved? Let's visit each of these campgrounds and see where you pitched your tent.

Camp You've-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me

This is the doom and gloom kind of reaction. Discovering that only 1 out of 10 writers actually make enough moolah to survive is a kidney punch to your dream. You wonder if it's seriously true, and if it is, then you're taking your ball and going home, never to write again. You feel it's a waste of time to pound out thousands of words if their monetary value is less than a pack of gum. Writing is stupid. You're done.

Camp Yippee! I'm not alone!

If after reading that 9 out of 10 authors slapped a smile on your face and added a bounce to your step, then you are a writer at heart. Writing is more than a paycheck. It's air. And it's a comfort to know that there are many, many others out there who write for peanuts just like you. This fact doesn't deter you in the least from typing your fingers to the bone day after day.

So...which camp are you in? Personally, my orange nylon shelter is staked at Camp Yippee.

TSMIES Syndrome - The Bane of All Writers

DAY 45

Word Count: 29,050

Sentence of the Day: The lone sunbeam slid along her skin-wrapped bones like a knife, cutting and severe.

"I do not so much write a book as sit up with it, as with a dying friend. During visiting hours, I enter its room with dread and sympathy for its many disorders. I hold its hand and hope it will get better."

~ Annie Dillard

The Writing Life

Yeah...it's one of those days. Ever feel like your WIP is languishing? For me, that slump usually hits around the 30-50k neighborhood. It's known as the mid-point doldrums, or what I affectionally like to call This-Stupid-Manuscript-Isn't-Even-Salvageable syndrome.

The first thing I want to point out is that TSMIES syndrome is normal. Every writer, even the biggest names, suffer from it. It's nothing new or unique, so rest assured you are not a freak (but don't quote me on that).

Think about it for a minute. The beginning of a story is fresh, the ending is exciting, the middle...well, I yawned just typing the word. And if you're bored writing it, just think of how your reader will feel.

If you're currently suffering from TSMIES syndrome, here's a little Rx to keep you moving while slogging through that center section:

- add in a new character to spice things up a bit, someone eccentric or sassy or hilarious

- give yourself permission to sway from your original outline and/or synopsis...if it's not working as you originally planned, then change it

- master your emotions...acknowledge that even though you feel like this is the worst thing you've ever written, reality is that it's probably not

- share your slump with your writing buddies...no one knows how to comfort like those who've suffered with this syndrome before

- put on your big girl pants (or boy, as the case may be) and just write...bemoaning the fact that you think what you've got is a steaming pile of doo-doo doesn't get you any closer to your word count goal

The good news is that this syndrome isn't fatal. There is life beyond the middle, and the sooner you get past it, the better you'll feel.

Benefits of Being a Writer

Obviously there are many. Here are the top 5...

Patience is a Virtue

DAY 44

Word Count: 28,244

Sentence of the Day: The lone sunbeam slid along her skin-wrapped bones like a knife, cutting and severe.

The publishing industry is one of the slowest I've ever encountered. Submit a query. Wait an additional two. If they like it, send off a proposal. Wait a few more months. Lucky enough that they want to see a full manuscript? Guess what. Wait up to three or four more. By the time they reject you (oops...is my cynical slip showing?), you could've been waiting for 6-9 months.

When I tell my non-writer friends this scenario, their eyes generally bug out, followed by the proverbial, "Are you crazy? Why don't you just self-publish?"

And therein a can of worms is opened.

Disclaimer: having never self published, I don't proclaim to be an expert. However, for the past ten years I have rubbed elbows with authors, agents, and publishers. Because of this, I've picked up a certain attitude about self publishing...and it's not a good one. Leastwise not for fiction.

The general public (aka my non-writer friends) don't seem to have this look-down-their-nose-and-sniff kind of presupposition about self publishing. Which begs the question...why?

My best guess is that it has do to with one of two things, which are really two sides of the same coin: ignorance and profitability. It's hard work to peddle a book, especially if you're on your own without the help of an established publisher. It's easy enough to download your novel to Smashwords then wait until the moolah rolls in, but that's probably not going to happen.

Consider these facts:

- over a million books are published each year in the U.S.

- no other industry has so many new product introductions

- the digital revolution is expanding those products at exponential rates, yet sales are not increasing

- the average pod (print-on-demand) book sells only 200 copies whereas with a major publisher that bumps up to 10,000 on average

(info taken from Out:think)

As you can see, that's quite a crap shoot. And I'm not one to gamble. So I choose to continue plodding along the traditional publishing path one step at a time.

But hey, I hear patience is a virtue.

I'll Take the Cushioned Windowseat

DAY 43

Word Count: 27,911

Sentence of the Day: His black greatcoat shrouded his length like a shadow, an eerie image of the grim reaper.

Agree or disagree...

"Appealing workplaces are to be avoided."

~ Annie Dillard (The Writing Life)

Far be it from me to discount the sage advice of famous author Annie Dillard. This chick knows what she's doing. I shudder to even stand in her literary shadow.

BUT (and I've always got a big but)...

I happen to disagree. Messiness makes me crazy. I can't think creatively if there's a pile of paperwork strewn over my desk. Or a pile of dirty dishes winking at me from the kitchen counter. Or knowing the laundry pile is the size of Mount Crumpet.

I need an appealing workplace, or at least one that's tidy. That's why my writing haunt of choice is a coffee shop. If there are scone crumbs on the table, I don't feel the least bit responsible to clean them up before I sit down to write a scene. Naturally, I choose a different tabletop to set up shop, but I think you get the point.

So, how about you? Does your muse work best in an appealing or unappealing work space?