What Would You Bring Home From England?

What kinds of things would an author bring home for souvenirs?

Tidbit: Reality Check

To all you newbie writers out there with stars in your eyes, here's a dose of reality. Writing books sounds grand and glorious, and honestly it is, but there's oh-so-much-more that makes up an author's life. Here's what's currently on my writerly plate:

• Read through and send off final galley for a book coming out in January.
• Receive an ARC of my non-fiction and read through for errors.
• Write guest blog posts for January blog tour.
• Oh yeah, arrange for a January blog tour, so start emailing bloggers.
• Editor asked for more story ideas . . . come up with some and send them off.
• Prepare for speaking gig on Monday night to talk about plotting.
• Plan for Writer Off the Leash's Anniversary on Oct. 17, as in conjure some zany promotional idea.
• Write a book review for the novel I recently finished.
• Try to finish reading the other 2 books I need to write reviews for.
• Send off a chapter of my writing for a critique group meeting on Monday and critique those I receive in return . . . before Monday, of course.
• Decide if I should sign a contract for a particular project or hold off for a bigger offer or self-pub the dang thing.

And that's just off the top of my head. I'm sure I'm forgetting at least five other writing-related items. Notice what's not on there? 

Write for the sheer love of writing.

And that, newbies, is the one thing you need to hold onto for as long as you possibly can, because the Creeping Charlie of extraneous writerly duties will eventually choke-hold your writing time.

Yeah. Be careful what you wish for. It might come true.

Literary Tips From the Un-Dead

It's that creepy time of year again. No, I'm not talking about a midnight run to Wal-Mart. I'm talking my neighbors hauled out all their inflatable pumpkins and ghosts.

My family and I don't celebrate Halloween. I know. I hear you. . . "Michelle, why are you such a hater?" Because glorifying zombies, witches, and satan just isn't my thing, and honestly, I'd rather eat the Hershey bars myself than hand them out to ungrateful little sugaraholics trick-or-treating at my door.

But I am currently in the middle of reading Dracula -- and I'm loving it.

Incongruent? Could be. Hypocritical? Maybe. Instructive? Bingo! We have a winner. What could I possibly be learning from a nineteenth century horror novel?

Nail Biting Suspense

Author Bram Stoker uses a tool that authors today could learn from. Innuendo. He hints at a lot of things that could happen, but might not. What's really frightening is the not knowing. The reader expects something horrible will happen, but not when or how it will be executed.

A Strong Female Lead

Feminism isn't just a burn-your-bra 60's kind of thing. Stoker wrote Dracula back in 1897 and uses Mina Harker as one of the main characters. She is intelligent and integral to the plot, not just a pretty decoration or love interest.

The Reader is Judge and Jury

The way the story is laid out, via diary entries, letters and newspaper articles, it's really up to the reader to decide which characters are inherently good or bad or just plain stupid. Stoker obviously believed in his readers enough to not spoon-feed them every literary bite, but simply put a steaming plate of story in front of them and allowed them to eat at will.

Blending Reality

Much of Dracula requires the reader to entertain the notion of the supernatural. Stoker accomplishes this by the pacing of his tale, creating a strong relationship up front between the reader and the characters. You want to know what will happen to them. You're on their side. You want the evil creature Dracula to fail.

I'd tell you more, but I'm only half-way through the book. Stay tuned for more un-dead writing tips.

A Call to Rebellion

Let's take time out to talk about book covers, shall we? You've all heard the old adage, "Don't judge a book by its cover." I'm here to tell you that's a lie. Tolerance is overrated. God gave you a brain. Use it, for crying out loud.

If a book is decorated with daisies and smiley faces, guess what? It's probably a light-hearted read. Or if it's grey and dreary looking and makes you feel weepy, it's likely going to be a drama. Is there a shirtless beefcake wrapping his arms around a doe-eyed damsel with flowing blonde hair? Romance. Yep. It's just that easy. This isn't rocket science.

What rankles me more than my husband chewing gum with his mouth open is when a reader picks up a book and expects something different than the cover is promising. Why would someone do that? Do they pick up a box of Rice-a-Roni at the grocery store and freak out when, gasp, rice comes out?

Yet that's exactly what I often see when I read reviews on Amazon or Goodreads (about books, that is, not Rice-a-Roni), people grousing about a novel not being what they expected and raking the poor author over the coals until they're all charred and blistery. Those kinds of negative reviews make me want to read the story just to see what all the fuss was about.

So here's a little pep talk for all of us . . . let's be discriminating. Designers create these things so that the consumer has an inkling of what's going to be on the inside. Be a rebel and judge books by their covers before you read them.

Re-Entry

I've been back from England for five days now and no, I haven't written a new novel yet. I haven't even washed my heap of dirty clothes. Transitioning back to real life from twenty days of vacation is kind of like returning from the dead. Life kept right on going while I was gone and left a stack of must-do's higher than my laundry pile.

Even so, I managed to sneak in a little writing and a lot of editing. The final galleys of BRENTWOOD'S WARD are off to the printer. I noticed the paperback version is currently on sale as a pre-order for $11.70 at Amazon, so if you're a hard copy kind of person, you might want to toodle over there (though it won't be mailed out until Jan. 1).

And Writer Off the Leash: Growing in the Writing Craft is just about ready to send out for endorsements. Launch date is Feb. 1. Here's a blurb to whet your appetite:

You are the ultimate master of your writing success, namely by writing. That’s it. That simple. Anyone saying anything else is a snake oil salesman.

Are you a writer at heart? How can you tell? And if you are, how do you go about composing and selling the next Great American Novel?

WRITER OFF THE LEASH answers these questions and more—all in an easy to understand, tongue-in-cheek style. This is more than a how-to book. It’s a kick in the pants for anyone who wants to write but is stymied by fear, doubt, or simply doesn’t know how to take their writing to the next level.

While it's been interesting to visit the land of analytical fact writing, it kind of hurt my brain. My next writing venture will definitely be fiction. Here are a few pictures I took in England that have story possibilities . . .

Look through the window. The opposite building was a bit decrepit. Dead vines on the brick. Smudgy windows. What might a character see in that neighboring home if she peeked out on a moonlit evening? A candle through the glass illuminating a face? What kind of face?

Or here's another one . . .

That little building atop the bridge is a toll house, where the bridgekeeper lived with his family, receiving fees from people crossing the bridge. Who might show up on a stormy evening? Was his family happy there? What kind of relationship did they have with the villagers on the other side of the bridge?

So many ideas, so little time.

And speaking of time, I suppose I should fire up the ol' washing machine instead of my imagination. Yeah. Re-entry is rough.

Buckle Up

Guess who's back in the country . . .

Day 20: Home Sweet Home

RANDOMOSITIES

Who'd have thought they could stuff so many people on a tube? Claustrophobics beware.

Rode the rails on our way to Gatwick, making our total modes of transportation: car, plane, steam engine, subway, bus, and train.

Add to the tally of a broken washing machine and microwave, a stolen lawn mower. Somebody left the garage door open. Hopefully that's all that was taken.

One thing I noticed but neglected to mention is how long English meals take. There's no rush. Like even for paying the bill. People tend to linger at the table.

Gatwick airport is way nicer than Heathrow, but sorry, Keflavik airport in Iceland still gets the blue ribbon.

Not sure, but I think the old dude sitting next to me at the airport might have hacked up a hairball. Sorry for the visual.

Love the view from an airplane. Just think. That's what God sees all the time.

TIMELINE

9:00 Leave to board the tube then the train to get out to Gatwick Airport.

11:30 After lugging heavy baggage and Mark getting stuck in a pat-down, we finally grab a of coffee and some food before our flight.

1:00 Flight to Iceland then switch planes for Minneapolis.

6:00 Land

7:30 Leave the stupid airport because of stupid customs and stupid border control. Border control? Really? In Minneapolis? What about down by Mexico?

THOUGHTS

Am I ready to go home? As much as I miss my kids and my dog, umm, honestly? Nope. It will be back to responsibility. Having 20 days to do as I wish was really living a dream. But I am coming away with a gazillion new story ideas and lots of great memories. 

A smile and a "thank you for your patience" would go a long way to diffuse angry customers. We waited a half hour at the check-in line at Gatwick without the clerk even acknowledging the growing rage of a line. Then at our layover in Iceland, the plane boarding ran late. Flyers huddled around the gate with frowny faces. If they'd have just announced that they were running late, I think a lot of the rage would've been tamped down. It's the not knowing that flips people out.

And as if that line weren't bad enough, shall we talk about customs/re-entering the U.S.? Sheesh. That took over an hour. It would've been faster if we'd taken a Mexico flight and waded through the Rio Grande. Illegals have a way easier time getting in here than citizens. 

All in all, though, it was a fantastic journey that I wouldn't trade for anything. Thanks for coming along with me, my readers, and a huge thanks to God for making the whole thing possible.