Grill the Author

In case you haven't noticed, it's summer. Time for some tasty grilling, folks. Normally I recommend beer brats or a thick, juicy tenderloin, or if you're of the vegan persuasion, a big ol' grill pan full of brussel sprouts swimming in olive oil and caressed with a sprinkle of lemon pepper.

But don't worry...today's post won't add one centimeter to your waistline. Today, we're grilling me. If that makes you go "Eew! Gross!" then think of it as Twenty Questions instead. Ready?

What’s your favorite part of the writing business? What’s your least favorite?

Getting paid for penning down my daydreams is a pretty sweet deal. Okay, I'll be real...it's like grabbing hold of a herd of dolphin balloons and floating straight up to the stratosphere.

My least favorite aspect is marketing. I would rather wrestle a rabid racoon with sharp, pointy teeth, all crazed and frothy like the dog in To Kill A Mockingbird. There’s a reason I’m not a salesman. I stink at it.

After becoming a published author, what surprised you the most?

The freak magnet effect. When people hear I’m a published author, suddenly I’m their BFF. I’m convinced that 99.9% of the population are wannabe-writers with not only novel ideas, but entire epic trilogy tales, and sadly, most of them involve zombies or love-struck Amish virgins.

Not. Even. Kidding.

If you weren’t a writer, what would you be doing?

I’d be running a B&B in England. Near a castle. On a moor. With Mr. Rochester as my neighbor. Wow. Did I mention I’m an out-of-the-closet Charlotte Bronte fan-a-maniac?

What does your family think about your crazy career?

My husband knew I was certifiably insane when he married me, so no problem there. As for my kids… My oldest son thinks it’s great but only reads audio/technical textbooks. My second son reads my rough drafts, cutting out scenes that are too sissy and/or adding in some sweet moves to my fight scenes. My oldest daughter is too busy fixing her hair to notice that I write. And my youngest daughter is pretty sure Hollywood will make blockbuster movies of my stories, and can I please get her into a starring role?

Why do you write?

Because being a pirate is frowned upon and I’m pretty sure no one will pay me to eat brownies all day. There’s also the simple matter of quieting the voices in my head by capturing them onto paper so I can have some peace.

Alrighty. That ought to do it for today. I think I'm getting char marks on my bum. If you have another question you'd like me to answer, fling it my way. Best of all, it doesn't even have to be writing related. I'll copy it, toss it into my question jar, and will answer on an upcoming Question Jar Fun Friday vlog. 

Now go eat some potato salad.