I have mixed feelings about her leaving...if she actually does. On one hand, I feel like a failure. What could I have done differently? How could I have been more humble? Shown more love?
But on the flip side there will be no more verbal barbs that rip out little pieces of my soul. Smell that? It's the scent of SWEET FREEDOM! Yeah baby. Party at my house. Be there.
What does any of this have to do with writing?
Failure and freedom is the two-sided coin every writer keeps in their pocket. Each rejection is a stabbing defeat, no matter how many times you've been published. Failure is one of the squares on the writing game board that everyone lands on now and then, no matter how well you shake the dice.
If you turn that rejection coin over, though, you'll see an American eagle. Freedom to write what you want to write because, doggone it, you don't have any deadlines, and no expectations to wrangle the plot into a shape you never intended nor wanted to intend. It is an off the leash experience to write whatever you want to without any boundaries.
Of course, that doesn't pay the bills, but hey...that's a whole other blog post.
Posts
.png)
.jpg)
6 comments:
You know, your mother sounds like quite the adversary. You should write her into one of your stories. :-)
But, seriously, (and I pray I am not getting to personal here) if she does ever move into her own apartment, you should visit her once in awhile with the attitude that her heart can change at any given moment. If she begins to spew insults your way, you can always go back home to your peaceful haven. My point is, never give up on showing her Christ through you....satan has a hold on her and won't give up without a fight. Every time your mom hurts you, satan is smiling, for him it's a win win situation. So try not to take her attacks personally ( I know, easier said than done) because she may not be in control. I will be praying for her and for you. If she doesn't move out, then your battle stays on the home front......hang in there! (you can always delete this post if you want) Hugs!
Girl, I would never delete one of your posts! Personal notes are always the best. With your prayers and God's help, I will stay the course of unconditional love towards her...which will take some serious supernatural intervention. Good thing God's still in control. She hasn't moved out yet, so we'll see what happens, but either way, yes, with God's amazing grace I will soldier on.
Hugs!
I share your grief and relief, Michelle. My latest adventure in Kentucky was hard too, and I left wondering if I could have done something differently. I'm praying for your mom, and believing with you that this adventure you've suffered was not for nothing. Blessings and hugs, my friend!
Thanks Gwen! I'll take all the prayers you can spare.
Oh Michelle... I'm so sorry to hear things are so bad. I hope Mark is supporting you through this ordeal. You have invested so many years helping your mom I just hate to see her doing this to you now. Just remember she is 92 and age has a way of changing people - sometimes for the good and sometimes for the worse. Lets just hope we are kinder, gentler and more understanding when we hopefully reach 92. Your in our prayers
Post a Comment